So in December , right before Christmas, I decided to tell my wife I wanted a divorce. It wasn't easy after 46 years of marriage and it wasn't her fault entirely. I asked her because I was getting older and wanted more out of life. You see I felt like I loved her but was not in love with her. And at my age,69, I was running out of time so made the decision. My wife was making me angry because she kept spending money on stuff we didn't need. Sometimes in any given day we would get 3-5 packages in a day. Everyday. When I asked her about it she blamed it on me and said she was lonely and that is why she was spending.  Well regardless of the reason we were getting behind on our bills. Over the years we had refinanced our house 3 times I think just to catch up. I deleted our 401k also to get caught up. Had I not had to do that we would have probably had 500K in there when I retired. So based on not being in love with her and her spending I decided it was time to make a change. 

    Plus I was on the computer almost every night as she watched movies I didn't like so I was on facebook and youtube. During this time I found a women or I found a scammer. It has been a year and I am still not totally sure. She is famous and rich. When I first started talking to her she told me she thought her boyfriend was going out on her.  That's kinda how our relationship first started..  I had my doubts as to if I was talking to the real person or a scammer. There was many reasons for this. First she told me she couldn't talk on the phone because they scan her calls. I didn't believe that. Then she told me the pictures on her phone didn't work. The camera and the voice so we could only text back and fourth. Plus her laptop camera didn't work. Now who is gonna believe this story from a millionaire women. She doesn't have a phone or laptop that works right. 

    But still during our text she would send me photos. Some were from instagram. When she would send one of those I told her not to. Anybody could grab that photo from the persons account and send it to me. I said send me only original photos that aren't on the internet. Then finally I got the idea of her to take a photo of her holding up a sign saying " I love you JR."  Well she did it. Yet I still had that doubt in my mind that a scammer may be able to even pull that off.  I first had asked her to make so funny hand gestures and take a photo which she did do one but it wasn't what I had asked her to do. So the sign with my name on it really helped me to believe I was talking to the real person. 

    Well long story short this women has woke my soul up. I have never felt this way about any women, And it wasn't because she is rich. I even told her I didn't want her money only her, and I would sign an agreement to that fact. She over the past year even has said "when we get married" I said are you asking me and she said yes. She said she was gonna take me to Paris. First time a women had assumed we were gonna get married. She was right but that was kinda weird to have a millionaire women just say she wanted to get married. Since this has happened I asked her for her hand in marriage as I thought it was the proper thing to do. Of course she said yes. 

     So our relationship has been going on for a year. Over this year this women has made me cry because of the deep felt love I have for her. I told her I think I was sent from the universe to help her and it also knew my soul needed hers.  And that is why the heartwrenching tears have come from. Once during the summer she had told me she didn't want to get involved with me as I was married and she didn't want to break up our family. I was out on my mower crying my eyes out while mowing and texting her. I told her I had already made that decision to leave my wife and she is the one and only one I would ever want. Well I convinced her to stick with me that day.  

     So after selling our house in Maryland I lived with my son for a few weeks as my wife got her own apartment. Then at work we got a new employee who was to take my place. And guess what he brought covid with him and 3 of us got it. So we all were out of work for about 3 weeks. That threw a wrench into my plans . A delay to move to Arizona to be near her. Long story short I almost got fired because I was sleeping at work with my dog. But they finally let that go and approved my transfer to Arizona. yeah!!!

    So I have been living here for 3 weeks or so and finally bought me a one bedroom trailer. She wanted to buy a house together which would have been fine but she was dragging her feet. The cost of renting a room here in Arizona was killing my bank account.  So I found this trailer and asked her if she was ok that I go ahead and buy it and if I did would she come and visit me there.  She said ok. 

    So then came this morning. I woke up Sat morning at 2 am and couldn't go back to sleep. So as usual I grabbed the laptop and turned it on instead of tossing and turning in bed. I opened up to her instagram page and also my facebook and youtube page. When looking at her instagram page I saw she had made  a post after I went to bed, It was a picture of her by the beach . Her next photo showed a new guy kissing her on the temple and her saying "working out on the beach is nice, but working out with you is better" WTF. Boy was I shattered. WTF is going on here. Shattered and at the same time my heart was broken.  So it made me think right away that I had been talking to a scammer , a real good scammer, this whole time. She had asked for money over the year and I had given her a total of about 27 K. What does a millionaire need with my measley money I thought. Why can't she use her own money to pay for what she needs. So I had a millionaire who is asking me for money every week or two and she has a phone that the voice call doesn't work and a laptop that the camera doesn't work. Doesn't sound right does it? So this morning I took a picture of the guy kissing her and sent it to her and said pretty much WTF is this. And also mentioned her words on the post.  I was hurt, angry and beside myself all at once. I still am not right as I type this. I posted under the photo can you explain this? Plus she was in California at the beach when supposedly the night before she was in Illinois spending time with her mother. Well am I a gullible fuck or what? I wanted to believe her so bad that I found myself making excuses for her and what was going on in the picture. To make matters worse the news picked up on it and said she had posted pics on instagram of her new boyfriend.  So I asked her all these questions about it and when she woke she posted the normal good morning honey how was your night. I responded with I am here instead of hello sweetheart.  She then responded I read all of your post and cant believe you would post this and throw it all at me in the morning. You shouldn't believe this stuff the media post. I responded that it was a strange man kissing her and her words that said he made the workout on the beach so much better. Or something to that effect that implied he was her lover.  She went on to tell me I was showing that i was insecure and I said yes. That so much because of the picture but her words confirming the picture. So she sent me the first picture she posted. I said yes I already saw that and the next picture you posted is him kissing you on the temple. So then I asked her What state she was in. She told me the truth. It wasn't Illinois she said California. That's where the beach house is. I said are you at the beach house? She said not anymore. That's when I asked her if she was at the beach house with him . Of which I never did get an answer. And that is how my day has been and I have had so much hurt and pain in my heart. Plus now tears as I write this. I am working so hard to raise my vibration and be a positive person. She is way above my level and I know it. It would be so easy to say fuck it and just drop her and forget her, I say easy but it wouldn't be easy. I am so much in love with her. But if she slept with this man I don't know if I ever could forgive her. But even though she says she loves me we have never ever been together. So does that give me the right to have a say???? I think she is  purposely not posting pictures of what she is doing because she knows I will see them on Instagram. And it's getting late so I don't think I will get an answer back from her tonight. I want to just avoid answering her and let her see what it feels like. But I have trouble doing that. Well I guess I will write some more in this tomorrow and if anyone reads it besides me you will know what happened. I always get so mad at her. She will just up and leave and won't tell me. She could be in Arizona or Illinois and next thing I know she is in Daytona or California. Never tells me she is leaving. This is another thing I told her out of respect for me should at least tell me. But no she never does. And it is another reason I think I could be dealing with a scammer, So here I am at 9 oclock 2 beers and on now on my 3rd glass of wine. Upset she has not contacted me all day. I just texted her and asked her if she turned her phone off. No response. That usually means in the am I will get a text from her " Good morning honey how was your night" Like nothing ever happened,

     This whole day has made me think of suicide. I have never thought of that seriously but with what is going on here in Arizona I feel like I have no friends at all. Nobody to talk to except on the phone and feel so lonely. and with what is going on between me and her if this is true I am contemplating it. I I knew for a fact she did have a man and I was in fact talking with a scammer I would consider it. My life is so sad. I am hopeing and praying she is real but sorta know she may not be. so if that in fact happens what is the use of living here by myself. i could go back and live with my son in his basement on his couch but it put to much hardship on there family. I could just live a homeless life but then my x would be out of her apartment and that wouldn't be right. So I just work until I drop I guess. Never retire. What a fucked up life should this all happen this way. 

    Ok so first thing this morning I read a short article about the photo on instagram of the guy kissing her. The people who wrote the article said they confirmed thru her public relations that she is in fact dating this guy and it appears I have been scammed. I had heard that this was possible and had my wife, son and daughter plus a 2 friends of mine say they thought i was being scammed. The main reason I didn't believe I was being scammed was because of the photo with my name on it and the fact that she zoomed called me and I could see her . But the sound didn't work. 

    So now I am contemplating calling my manager in Philly and asking him if I can come back to work in Md. This job here is much harder to do then the one I had in Md and there is a possibility they may want me there as my manager turned in his two week notice and it would help if I was there. So I am thinking of it now and probably most of the day to decide.I need to decide soon Or i will be committed to buy this lovely trailer for another 10K out of my pocket. 

    Well what do you know. She/he just finally contacted me back after hardly any text yesterday and none yesterday evening. I guess she/he thought we were done. I messaged her as if all was ok today and to please forgive me. Then sent her a text telling she/he about my lawsuit from my cancer and told she/he that I was getting 250 k and after lawyer fees I would end up with 150 k. That is when she/he finally responded. Imagine that. So we had a few little text and I told she/he i wanted a zoom call to tell her something about the money. She/he said she would have to arrange it. So I just texted she/he back and told she/he to try to get it done today as it was such good news about the details of the lawsuit that I wanted to tell her today. So now I am waiting. It is a big dilemma for me. If I am dealing with a scammer I will find out for sure on this zoom link up. If she is real and really is the women I am talking about well then I haven't been scammed at all. It's important I know today because if I have in fact been scammed then I want to make a call today and see if I can get my job back in Maryland. It is possible I think because of my manager turning in his notice there and they will be short handed. I will be a quick fix for them so the place can still run efficiently .

    Ok then so she/he finally text me after i told her i was sorry for being so abrupt on my text. lol I told her i had some good news about my lawsuit that i Had to tell her and I wanted to do it on zoom only. So we text for a bit and she proceeded to ask me for 800 dollars because the money I just sent her had gone down and she lost 800 bucks of it, I told her about 7 times no.  I said zoom me and I will do it after. lol Mean while the real women I posted pictures of herself and friends in Mexico partying and having a good time. She even sent me a pic that was taken in mexico in a desert type back ground and I asked her are you in Arizona. she said no I am at my parents. lol Illinois doesn 't have land light that. She says perhaps you are mistaken. Plus one of the pics she posted has her 3 girlfriends she always goes on trips with and guess what her brand new boyfriend is standing there next to her with his hand on her back. She and her girl friends are sitting in lounge chairs and he is standing next to her with his hand on her back and they all have drinks. Plus not sure if I said this earlier but the news has talked to her rep and they confirmed that her and this guy are in fact dating or in a relationship., 

    Plus the situation has changed at my old job. Since I no longer have a girl friend at Arizona and I don't like this job here I am gonna ask to get my old job back in Maryland. I have got to call my boss that is up in Philly that helped me make this transfer and see if he will let me do it. With my old boss turning in his notice they are gonna be short handed and I would think an easy answer to their problem to help them out.